People lose their minds at Disney World. I’m absolutely convinced that the combination of the sun with the extreme over-stimulation of seeing every cartoon character you’ve ever loved come to life, is just too much for people. There are many places people go crazy, but today I want to tell you about some of the strange walkers at Disney World. This is to alert those of you crazy enough to head there in the dead-heat of summer so that you will not be one of them!!!
1) The Map–Readers. There are only a few times when I really huff and puff when at Disney. I mean those big nasty sighs that people let out when they’re realllyyy irritated at you. I try to have patience; realize that not everyone plans ANYTHING AT ALL to come to WDW and that not everybody can navigate WDW without a map like the Diva family (yes, even my 4 year old can navigate the parks without a map).
However, let me encounter a “map-reader” and you’re guaranteed to have a big Disney Diva (under her breath) HUFF and at least one Facebook update about you!!!!
Definition of “Map-Reader”: Tourist at WDW who stops in the MIDDLE of the street to read a map.
Look, ok, I get it, you don’t know where you’re going. I understand. And some of you are really REALLY bad with navigation and have no sense of direction. I get it. What I DON’T get is why when you get lost you feel the need to ignore the other HUNDREDS of people walking around you and just set-up camp in the middle of the street with your posse of strollers and gaggle of family members.
Move to the side people!!!
If you get lost do everyone a favor and move forward to a place where you can get off the main walk-way. Don’t just move to the side of a main walk-way… walk the extra five steps to get into a little niche or in front of a bathroom or something. Its not that far and you wont feel as rushed and can have a second to get your bearings.
2) The Stragglers
Another type of crazy walker at WDW is the “stragglers”. You know stragglers. You probably have at least one in your family.
Definition of Straggler: Someone in no particular hurry to get anywhere, just chilling… looking up at the scenery and bumping into families all around them.
Disney is a lot to take in, but you don’t have to (to use a very Southern term) “Lolly-gag”. By the end of the week most peoples feet and legs are so sore from all the walking they slow-down to a near-crawl. Now there are many places where this is tolerable…. but wherever there is a “bottle neck” its not. (especially if I’m on a fast-pass mission and trying to truck it to get back to my family).
Prime example: There is a pathway that crosses from Liberty Square into Fantasyland in Magic Kingdom. It bottlenecks in part to the people riding scooters who do not know how to drive them and in part to stragglers. Another example is main-street. Move along folks! The street is too narrow for you to move so slowly. Just pay attention to where streets narrow and at least attempt to walk at a normal-human pace.
3) The “Touchy” people. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you can’t handle getting bumped into, side-swiped, breathed on, accidentally touched by a kid thinking you’re their mom when you’re not then DON’T COME TO DISNEY WORLD!”
This is the nature of the beast!!!
There are literally thousands of people passing through each park on a daily basis. Odds are someone is going to bang into you. And honestly, if that is the worst thing that has happened to you on that day then you’ve had a pretty good day.
Do NOT be ugly to people if they accidently run into you. ESPECIALLY CHILDREN!!! This includes shooting them evil looks or scoffing. Just suck it up and realize that part of being in close proximity to people is getting tapped.
You’re going to get your feet run over by someone/something at some point on a bus (especially at night after fireworks). GET OVER IT… Its not that bad! Unless your foot is broken don’t be a jerk. And if you are in one of the Value Resorts in the summer go ahead and expect to be packed in there like sardines with at least one Brazilian tour group. I have found the Brazilians tolerate close proximity with far more grace than the Americans with our 2ft personal space bubble. I once sat the whole way from Magic Kingdom to All Star Music Resort with my son in my lap and a young ladies booty about 2 inches away from his face. That’s a LONNNNG 30 minutes people lemme tell you. But we were not nasty to them. Its part of being at Disney World.
So now you know some of the people NOT to be while at Disney on your vacation. 
Happy Walking!
